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squab squawk sells out

by squab squawk

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1.
It’s so fucking cold here, but we don’t mind. We’ve been here forever; we’ve adjusted to the climate in a way that you couldn’t, even if you stayed here for a while. We’re quite fond of fish—it’s basically all we eat. Got big ol’ eggs, carry ‘em ‘round on our feet. And the offspring that hatch are adorable. Gonna go for a swim, fast as torpedoes. Gotta escape the seals… they’re such dicks about everything. Why can’t they just leave us alone? Then come the science men with their sunglasses and caps. They strapped fucking cameras onto our backs, for research purposes, and we were adorable. And when it gets cold (colder than usual), well, we’re all friends—best friends for life. We’ll waddle and huddle into adorable masses.
2.
although i seem to split my tongue into both ways, i would not dream of it. (my dreams ain’t worth shit anyway) i would not dare. i wish you would all this sleepy shit, i mean whatever, can’t do you good this could give me peace of mind, but it won’t, it won’t, it won’t not for a long ol’ while. here i am travelin’ this mile. i have been on this mile for four thousand forsaken whiles lonely or lovely, it’s all the same to me dreams are (rather) risky territory, and waking up is misery but i don’t want to sleep for life. (can’t give up the strife!) although i seem to split my tongue into both sides, i would not dream of it, and i hope you realize it ‘fore i waste it all, all of your precious time you’re so not worth this fall. promise me you’ll never be mine. that’d be fine, i’ll be fine. don’t you worry ‘bout a thing. would it give you peace of mind if i pretended not to care? i would not dare to. oh i won’t dare. i would not dream of daring (real talk) don’t you dare glance at me, don’t waste your sympathy i am just being crazy. i’ll be fine. never you mind. don’t you worry about a thing—i’ll be fine.
3.
if we could forgo our goodbyes, i wouldn’t have to die of sadness now (because a panda dies of sadness every time you say goodbye) but tell me, look me in the eye: will you ever come back somehow? because my world is so bleak without you, and you don’t think of me unless i’m around (so don’t worry like you always do, and i’ll do my thing where i worry about you) stay here, stick around with me i would like to go down with you in infamy ‘cause i really can’t do this alone. aw shit i’m so alone. i can’t wait to see how far you’ll go but does it have to be so far geographically? (why a stratosphere away?) and if you’re absolutely sure that you’ll never come around then you got to tell me now don’t make me find out.
4.
i’m swinging upside down from the perch, wings outstretched i’m gasping for water, flippin’ a shit on the shore i’m nudging and ramming the side of this boat and i am near you, and you are an asymptote i broke into your house and found the door i had been looking for but it’s been closed long before you knew what was in store that’s what they told you to do, before you knew it’d ever stop you so i’m jiggling this knob, but i’ll cancel the battering ram the bar is set too high for me and optimism ultimately fails these broken personal promises just show how my bitterness prevails i don’t know how well i really know you and i don’t know how to show how much you mean to me but it’s too much for you (too much for anyone’s good) you’re on this plinth and i cannot get you down remember how i ran to your house one day and i saw a shooting star—it broke up in the atmosphere remember how you told me to flip a coin i didn’t want to take the chance i want to control this myself but i flipped the fucker anyway and saw the side i had not wanted to see i saw the side i had not wanted to see
5.
afterwards 03:26
I told you not to go to bed fuming, yet I ended up drifting off dejected woke up with eyelids that killed me alive couldn’t figure out why i cried in my dreams, but not in my sleep and i sincerely hope that you’re not the reason though i know that you’ve left me to die and i’ll be sad to say goodbye to the person who’s in love with you right now who has been here for so long i can’t remember anyone else. I’m trying not to dream of the future it just sets myself up for disappointment because my imagination is too kind. I try to tell it that “you can’t be this naive,” yet there it goes. That’s probably why I like you so much. You bring me down to lower ground. and still i’m sad to not have found the logic and the motives behind your lies (If I put towards God the faith I have in you I would be close to heaven guaranteed but with you and the lord alike i have my doubts…)
6.
This is not the sound of giving up. Thought I was finally done… just another mistake but let’s see how long I can last this time Let’s see how long it takes for you to figure it out Though I feel like you never stopped suspecting As much as i told you otherwise and every time I focus love into your eyes I wonder if you feel a thing. Lord, I’m trying I thought that you’d come around… oh, no. But this is not the sound of giving up.

about

six songs written from 2008 to 2010 that have been kicked around since then. and now they are here. and i'm not entirely sure how they got here.

tracks 1-4 recorded over two separate weeks in dec. 2010 and march 2011; track 5 mostly recorded in sep. 2010; track 6 recorded in march 2010. yeah i don't know.

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released March 24, 2011

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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squab squawk Santa Cruz, California

i'm AP and i'm really sloppy
The Shitty Elliott Smith™

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